PERSONAL : What it Means to Be Human - A Tribute


I've nothing profound to offer today. 
All I can say is this:
You matter.
The impact you have on those around you is significant. 

Let me explain...

For the past 6 years, the month of May has become a month of apprehension.

In the month of May,
I grappled with & ultimately decided to not go back to college.
In the month of May, 
I didn't get the dream job I thought I was made for. 
In the month of May, 
my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
In the month of May,
my mom had a double mestactomy and we wrestled for what it meant to be beautiful
(Read more about that HERE). 

The years of Mays have been full of unpredictable pain. 

This month of May,
a dear friend, for completely unknown reasons, passed away.
Just like that. No warning. 

And while these types of posts can be awkward to read, hear me out. I could go on for quite a while about the massive influence this guy had on me. I could tell you stories that you'd never believe actually happened. I could tell you all the things, but it wouldn't do much.

Instead, I'd like to just share one truth, one thing, I heard in the midst of my grief this week: 

"Sometimes we meet people and we connect with them on a human level. And that is very rare. It has nothing to do with their accomplishments, their studies, or their hobbies. But everything to do with just being human. It's deep, it's personal, it's real. You don't have to know their entire life story - you already feel like you've known them forever. There are no facades. No need to try to impress. They're just being a human. And so are you." 

Losing someone makes all the things you thought were important quite trivial. You reconsider all the opportunities missed. All the things you never said. The glances, the laughs. 

If I've learned anything from these apparently wretched months of May, it's this: 
Life is unpredictable, but I can be brave despite it. 

And it's the unpredictability that challenges us to experience what it means to be human: 
To doubt. To love. To risk.
To explore. To grieve. To sing.
To learn. To be. To do. 

My friend was someone who, quite frankly, always adventured. 
And he was very good at asking open ended questions. 
He was quick to laugh and eager to listen. 
I want to be more like that.

If you made it to the end of this, thanks for listening & reading. 
Words & emotions can be messy. And I'm not always good with them. 
But there's beauty to be seen in this. I know it. 

I'm grateful. 
Grateful for the hard, hard lessons learned from loss & unpredictability in life. 


--Tara M